I miss my ex-roommate. I wish he was back in my life. If I cannot have him I want someone like him in my life. I miss having someone sleeping with me, snuggle with me on the sofa watching a movie or just snuggling.
I don't want someone to pay my rent, truck payments etc. Yes it be nice to have a roommate to help out but I am getting to the stage that I wonder if it is worth it.
All I pray for is my health to improve, finish school and to bring my ex-roommate or someone like him into my life. I really think I ask for to much but I am trying. I just hope something good comes out of it all.
I will catch you later.
Goodnight
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Nov. 19, 2012
I have discovered that I am in love with my exroommate. I am not sure what to do about that.
Nov. 21, 2012
I have my doctors appointment at 10 am. I hope everything comes out good.
How do you let someone go? How do you find a new love when your still in love with someone else? I am so badly hurting and really wanting to let go, to find someone who is willing to be there for me, not afraid of life. I know me and my exroommate/boyfriend will not get back togther, my head is constantly telling me this but my heart hopes that we can work on things and get back together.
My dreams are of no concern or matter to another human being only to me. I am trying not to let that bother me but it does. I guess my only worth to a man is to have sex with then get up and leave. I am such a fool and I am stupid.
I guess I will complain some more later in the day. I wish that my ex would come back to me. I want him to love me.
Shelly
How do you let someone go? How do you find a new love when your still in love with someone else? I am so badly hurting and really wanting to let go, to find someone who is willing to be there for me, not afraid of life. I know me and my exroommate/boyfriend will not get back togther, my head is constantly telling me this but my heart hopes that we can work on things and get back together.
My dreams are of no concern or matter to another human being only to me. I am trying not to let that bother me but it does. I guess my only worth to a man is to have sex with then get up and leave. I am such a fool and I am stupid.
I guess I will complain some more later in the day. I wish that my ex would come back to me. I want him to love me.
Shelly
Monday, November 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012
What to do with myself? I have no clue. I have realized that I am in love with my ex-roommate who is now my neighbor. I don't think he feels the same for me. I know for a fact he does not feel the same for me. I have given him the site to my blogs so he can read my emotions. I know there will be some blogs he should not read but I want him to know who I am and how I feel.
I miss my ex-roommate holding me at night, falling asleep in his arms. I miss having him here watching him play his WOW, I miss playing WOW lol. I miss me and him trying to snuggle on the sofa to watch tv. My sofa is not that big and we are 2 big people. I ache for him, my heart beats for this person, use to be I did not want to come home now I cannot way for him to come home. I sound like a adolescent teenager.
I write my feelings down better than I can tell ya. Yeah I am a chicken but I am trying to change that as well. I hope he forgives me for the blogs I have written but the majority of them were done in anger. This is only way I know how to release my stress, frustration and anxieties. Sometimes it helps other times it does not. I constantly worry.
Any how. I feel like if I am with another man or try to be with another, I feel like I am cheating on someone who left me. Is this a normal feeling? I know living next door does not help but what do I do. I do not have the money to move to another house. I am more or less stuck here.
I pray to God, Universe help me to find someone to replace him or show him his way back to me. I cannot promise things would be the same as before or worse but I know I have trust issues and I need to be able to believe in a person. I have only found 1 other person that I can believe in.
I sometimes wonder if my diabetes and other health issues makes it hard for a man to be with me. I have both types of herpes 1 and 2. This is something I could have contracted from swimming in polluted water or maybe I got it from someone in my past or maybe my ex because he has cheated on me.
I am trying to work on my school still. I have had to ask help from the instructors but he does not always get back with me like I wanted him too. I have managed to figure out something but this I am going have to figure out as well.
I keep thinking about the ex-roommate if you cannot tell from the way I write. I just pray that something good will come out of and God will help me work through my issues and I hope he works through his issues to, and I hope that he loves me too.
I guess that is enough for now. I will try to post more.
Take care shelly
I miss my ex-roommate holding me at night, falling asleep in his arms. I miss having him here watching him play his WOW, I miss playing WOW lol. I miss me and him trying to snuggle on the sofa to watch tv. My sofa is not that big and we are 2 big people. I ache for him, my heart beats for this person, use to be I did not want to come home now I cannot way for him to come home. I sound like a adolescent teenager.
I write my feelings down better than I can tell ya. Yeah I am a chicken but I am trying to change that as well. I hope he forgives me for the blogs I have written but the majority of them were done in anger. This is only way I know how to release my stress, frustration and anxieties. Sometimes it helps other times it does not. I constantly worry.
Any how. I feel like if I am with another man or try to be with another, I feel like I am cheating on someone who left me. Is this a normal feeling? I know living next door does not help but what do I do. I do not have the money to move to another house. I am more or less stuck here.
I pray to God, Universe help me to find someone to replace him or show him his way back to me. I cannot promise things would be the same as before or worse but I know I have trust issues and I need to be able to believe in a person. I have only found 1 other person that I can believe in.
I sometimes wonder if my diabetes and other health issues makes it hard for a man to be with me. I have both types of herpes 1 and 2. This is something I could have contracted from swimming in polluted water or maybe I got it from someone in my past or maybe my ex because he has cheated on me.
I am trying to work on my school still. I have had to ask help from the instructors but he does not always get back with me like I wanted him too. I have managed to figure out something but this I am going have to figure out as well.
I keep thinking about the ex-roommate if you cannot tell from the way I write. I just pray that something good will come out of and God will help me work through my issues and I hope he works through his issues to, and I hope that he loves me too.
I guess that is enough for now. I will try to post more.
Take care shelly
Monday, October 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012
I have posted many things here mostly it ws in hurt and anger towards my exroommate. I have come to the conclusion that I still have feelings for my exroommate.
I know I need to forget about him, get over him but how do I do that? Do I find someone just like him? Do I take him back if he wants to come back? I don't know I am confused.
I pray to GOD that if my exroommate was meant for me, show him his way back into my life. Open his heart up for me, or GOD can you find me someone like him either way.
I miss sleeping and waking up in his arms. I miss having my bed full, lol between the dogs and people. I have thought about getting a larger bed but no one seems to notice or listen to me. I miss having someone in the house with me.
My current roommate left moved out with out notice. Then he cries because I told him the neighbor may not work on his car because me moved out and that is in the yard. Then he cries because he paid $275 his share of the rent. Really He paid rent to have his car left behind. It makes it hard to mow the yard because you cannot start it or move it. I am looking for another roommate but not sure if I want another. I would love to have my mom moved down with me her and the dogs. The landlord will or will not complain to much as long as I keep it clean and no chewing on the woodwork. I know my mom would feel better if she was here with me. My son I think is fighting depression, and blames my mother and I for us for moving back in with her and that he thinks his life is over.
I have been going through a lot lately. I am not sure if you want to call it dating or not but I have been going out with a co-worker he is nice and all but I don't have any feeling for him other than friendship. I don't think of him in any other way. I cannot afford to loose my job or make my job uncomfortable to work in.
I have been praying to GOD for someone to coming to my life be it the exroommate, or someone like him. To help me may the payments on my vehicle, and to get my mom down here so I can take care of her.
I will try to post more at a later time.
Shelly
I know I need to forget about him, get over him but how do I do that? Do I find someone just like him? Do I take him back if he wants to come back? I don't know I am confused.
I pray to GOD that if my exroommate was meant for me, show him his way back into my life. Open his heart up for me, or GOD can you find me someone like him either way.
I miss sleeping and waking up in his arms. I miss having my bed full, lol between the dogs and people. I have thought about getting a larger bed but no one seems to notice or listen to me. I miss having someone in the house with me.
My current roommate left moved out with out notice. Then he cries because I told him the neighbor may not work on his car because me moved out and that is in the yard. Then he cries because he paid $275 his share of the rent. Really He paid rent to have his car left behind. It makes it hard to mow the yard because you cannot start it or move it. I am looking for another roommate but not sure if I want another. I would love to have my mom moved down with me her and the dogs. The landlord will or will not complain to much as long as I keep it clean and no chewing on the woodwork. I know my mom would feel better if she was here with me. My son I think is fighting depression, and blames my mother and I for us for moving back in with her and that he thinks his life is over.
I have been going through a lot lately. I am not sure if you want to call it dating or not but I have been going out with a co-worker he is nice and all but I don't have any feeling for him other than friendship. I don't think of him in any other way. I cannot afford to loose my job or make my job uncomfortable to work in.
I have been praying to GOD for someone to coming to my life be it the exroommate, or someone like him. To help me may the payments on my vehicle, and to get my mom down here so I can take care of her.
I will try to post more at a later time.
Shelly
Sunday, October 14, 2012
October 14. 2012
I have come to the conclusion that I fell in love with my ex-roommate. I did not know I had such strong feelings for someone until just now. I know he will not ever, cannot, and does not return those feelings. I am thinking and dwelling to much on this and him.
I cannot change things and how they are. I really wish I can move on now, find someone else and just be happy no matter what. It is so hard to do it all.
I guess this is enough for now. I am not sure what else I can say or do. It just know that I hurt so much.
I cannot change things and how they are. I really wish I can move on now, find someone else and just be happy no matter what. It is so hard to do it all.
I guess this is enough for now. I am not sure what else I can say or do. It just know that I hurt so much.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Sep 10, 2012
Please why should I give other men chances? I know that people tell me that all men are not the same but for some reason I keep finding my dad, 1st ex husband, 2nd ex husband or any of my ex's boyfriends/lovers/etc. It seems like they have one, two, three or all three personalities. I try not to compare a man to my past experiences but it is really hard not too. It is just when I think I am over something that was done to me, they would do something that would bring it all back.
I try not to be judgmental of everyone but it is very hard. I know I am being compared to this person and that person. Why can't I be like so and so? If so and so can do this or that, does that mean I have to or should? Life is just confusing and hard. I am so sorry if I hurt anyone in anyway and I hope to God that I am forgiven. I am so sorry if I have not ever given you a chance, it is me i am just scared of letting anyone in anymore.
Or maybe it is me and people in general I have problems with. I sometimes feel like I need to go to counselling to find out how neurotic I really am or maybe I am just anti social in general. I have not posted in here a long time. I guess I really need to get back into this. I am not sure how much of help it really is but I guess but it is good way of getting things off my chest.
I try not to be judgmental of everyone but it is very hard. I know I am being compared to this person and that person. Why can't I be like so and so? If so and so can do this or that, does that mean I have to or should? Life is just confusing and hard. I am so sorry if I hurt anyone in anyway and I hope to God that I am forgiven. I am so sorry if I have not ever given you a chance, it is me i am just scared of letting anyone in anymore.
Or maybe it is me and people in general I have problems with. I sometimes feel like I need to go to counselling to find out how neurotic I really am or maybe I am just anti social in general. I have not posted in here a long time. I guess I really need to get back into this. I am not sure how much of help it really is but I guess but it is good way of getting things off my chest.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)