Saturday Feb. 23, 2013

I am still in a frustrated state of mind. The though of having to pack up my things and move because I cannot afford the rent, household and personal bills.

I pray and hope, try to keep my faith that I will not loose my job. I have had a feeling that it would last a very long time. I keep hoping and wanting it to last. I want out of debt, I want sit at home and imagine no more excessive bills. I can live and enjoy life with not much worries. I have such dreams. I want my own small farm, my job, finish school and be my own success. I want to get to the state that no matter what life brings me, I will be okay, I want that confidence not only in myself but in life itself.

I don't like to worry, stress, nervousness or have anxiety attacks. It is not good on a persons health. I have so many health problems will I be able to find another job or will I be another statistic going on disability until I can figure out what is wrong with me and how to make it better.

I am in a worried state today my thoughts are chaotic. I will probably be here off and on, writing things down. I think it helps me out a lot. I have to figure out how to build up that faith and self confidence that the doors will continue to open for me. That I will continue to do what I am suppose to do. I just want to be successful in my own mind, not to impress others but to impress myself, showing myself I can and did do it.

I pray that our government will wake up before it is too late. I want to see my country and people make it in this world. I want to keep on fighting, and being as strong as I can be but at times that is so hard. I guess I wined enough as it is. I will be back here to post more later on today. If I can put things here or on paper I will feel to much better. I need to learn the Secret to be a better me.


I am back  it is 1:45 pm. Okay now I have convinced myself that I will keep my job, I just need to stay away from the news, and news papers. I have this belief now that I will have my job for a long, very long time. I will finish my school (just got to stop being lazy) and my dreams will come true. This is the important thing to do in life. You must keep a positive attitude (very hard to do) and be thankful every day. Also let the beauty of a sunset fill you or the rise of the sun. Let things you find beautiful fill your heart and soul up with these wonders. This is Gods love and his art.