Living in the Now

How does one person live for today, not yesterday or tomorrow? I am still trying to figure that one out. I have lived with what my mom, dad, aunts and uncles have said. I am always telling that little voice in my head to be quiet.

I have several things I need to do. I need to take a portrait of myself to send to my dad, clean house do that fall cleaning.

I have no idea what I am talking about today I will probably sound like I am on drugs, drinking or both. I may be posting things off and on here. I use the blog post as my sounding board. I wonder if we become more nuts when we answer our own questions to ourselves. My dad is right about one thing, it takes discipline to make changes to do what you should be doing, at the same time  a person needs to have some fun, relaxation. A chance to realign ones self.

Now I am confused. Yack at you all later.

See I told you a be back that was short. Time 8:32 am Oct. 27, 2014. Lets see how long I will be back. LOL.

I miss shopping at the craft stores, book store and I do like home improvement stores. Maybe it is a good thing I don't visit junk oops I mean antique stores and thrift stores. I may find things I cannot live without of come up with projects that I never seem to start nor finish.

Time now 8:34 am Oct. 27, 2014. I am leaving now.

Daily complaints

How does a person cope with anger at life? I am always angry, stressed and worried about paying bills, money and food.

I have felt like I am on a emotional roller coaster. I have my mom to worry about, my health to worry about and I do worry about my son. I have no one I can talk to, no one to go to for help.I do wish I was at the stage where I can work 2 job instead of one. Right now that is how I feel.

I am told to accept what is as is, but it is very hard. I am told to meditate. I cannot sit still or keep my mind quiet for 1 hr or so. I am lucky if I can get my mind to be quiet for 2 seconds. I don't know how many times I have told myself to shut up.

I wish I can make those around me happy, mainly those that care about me. I wish I was happy. I wish for a lot of things - XBOX One, house of my own in the country, horse to ride for relaxation, rescue animals from abuse and neglect. I wish I can take better care of my mom, provide us with food on the table. I feel like it is depression times at the moment. I need to learn how to live off of beans and other legumes.

I also need to find a receipt from going to the Eye Dr.so that I can get my insurance to approve the spending for it. I have to call them in the morning. I also thought I had paid my DirectTv twice so I had to call them to make sure. I gave up my Wow subscription to pay bills and have food. I did not get everything I need at the store. So badly in the needs of socks, underwear, pants and shirts as well. 

Man I complain alot and I sound very needy. I guess I will go to bed now. I am not making much sense to myself.

Take care all